The moment I saw your msg, my heart sank cos to me asking you out is the best chance to patch up with you but I was rejected.

I dont know why is there such a great delay but I’m sure that I get your hint. I know that I’ll never have the chance to patch back with you again.

Take care my love. Its time to move you out from my heart. I love you !

Its has been 273 days without you. I hope that you’re doing well, able to cope with your studies and enjoying your current life now.

How are your parents? I hope that they are doing good as well .May they stay healthy and happy. How about Jasper? Seriously, I missed him a lot. Jasper is the first dog that I interacted with the most. It was the first dog that make remove my phobia on dog. Miss those days playing with him, feeding him and walking him.

Today, I text you asking you out on 31st Dec as I wanted to watch the New Year fireworks with you again. However, there is no reply from you. I don’t whether you’re asleep or you don’t know how or what to reply me.

How I wish that you’re trying to cancel your appointment so that you are able to meet me. Will you ?? Nevertheless, I will wait for you.

Spent this year christmas w/o you..I’ll nv ever forget the christmas 2 years ago. It was the christmas that started our story. Remember the fun we had while you were making mash potatoes, the touching moment when I helped you cleaned your wound and many many more..

However, 2 years later, never will I expect to have a christmas w/o you..

Abt 350 days ago, I made a wish which is to watch the new year fireworks with you again.. I know that my wish will nv come true..But I do hope that 1 day, we’ll able to enjoy the fireworks like we once had..

I’m not blaming you for anything..

Take care..Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year..

1 month away from our 2nd year anniversary(if only)..

Today is 1st of sept 09, by right if nth goes wrong, i’ll be busy planning for yr bday in a month time n we’ll be tog for 1.5yrs.

However, I did not cherish what i had and I ruined everything. I do learnt my lesson and finally realised my foolish mistakes but its too late and I have to learn the hard way.

I decided nt to keep in contact with you cos I believe that this will help in forgetting you though it doesnt really work. Yes. Maybe it seems selfish but its seems that we are alright with it so just leave it this way..

People asked me why didnt I tried to woo back you.. Even though I do really wish to patch back with you but I know that it is impossible. Firstly, I know you have to overcome yr fear. Secondly, I”m afraid of yr rejection. Lastly, I know that there is this guy whom seems to be interested in you too. Therefore….

Over these 5 months, I have a hard time trying to get over you. It isnt easy. I’ll constanly think back of our past and my foolish mistakes. I really do regret for all my childish action. I know that I am over protective on you.  I know that I can do better and keep you better but I took it for granted and assume that everything is alright. I know that I cant get over it yet cos I’m still fond of  you. Ok. Take good care of yrself. Study hard as I know it is no easy taking a part-time degree. Do have ample rest and pls do eat well. Tell Jasper that I miss it/him if he still rem me. Hope tt your family members are doing well too.

I would give you any trouble like what GL***gave us initially when we were still together. All the best to both of you and hope that you can love him deeply.  Rem nt to give in to much to him.  Tell him that he tt he is lucky as he got himself a very good girlfriend. It seems like you are leading a good life and having great time tog with him, it really let me “fan xin”. Thanks for the memories!

Yes, I do regret how could I let you go and now lesson learnt and I paid a huge price. Whether or nt you see this post or nt, I will leave it to fate or else it will be a well-kept screen. Happy 22nd birthday in advance. Enjoy yr bday..

Why things had to be this way, the reasons i hope you understand.

Upon telling you, being avoided was the last i wanted.

P: “why dont want to meet, can share cab and its on the way anyway..?”

J: “aiya, it doesn’t make any difference now.”

P: “….okay..”

Call me selfish or heartless. But somehow maybe deep inside us, we both know carrying on for now would not lead us anywhere. If so, it’ll end up with you getting hurt over the long haul whereby tiredness will take its toll on you and history will repeat itself with maybe our roles swapped, again.

Let’s just take this time to ease the tiredness and sian-ness. Face each other in a different light. From there we may then start to realise the points in which either of us have changed. I hope you understand.

Of course, avoiding would not allow the above to happen. Of course, saying is always easier than doing. That i certainly know.

Nevertheless, still want to thank you for the happy times and for all that you had done. Really appreciate it and sorry for the bad times, hurt or what ever shit i had given you.

Another week had passed…

This week I didnt really have a chance to meet Love cos she is busy with her stuff..

Can see that she is really passionate about her studies. I see that she focus all her attention on her studies and keep herself busy with it..I sort of feel happy for her..haha..Do you best for your studies since you got the interest for it..

Good luck !! Study Well

Weekly entry again..

This week the most significant event will be Gavin’s 23rd birthday.. haha..that seem so old.. In a few months time, it will be my turn and I got to admit that I’m no longer young le..

Firsly, I picked up Love from her place and drove to The Cathay to park my car and we walked to the Fish& Co at Glass House to join the rest for dinner. Love and I ordered and shared a Salmon meal. TH, Willie , Zi Yu and I tried to sabotage Gavin by making a song dedication to him but apparently our effort was wasted as the place was noisy and we couldnt hear the messge. Then came the birthday cake and Gavin was told to stand on the cake and hold a sparkle. I bet that he was embarrassed. haha..

After our meal, we headed to The Cathay to watch ‘ Race to Witch Mountain’. Quite interesing as it focus is about outer-space and alien. After the movie, we went to Xin Wang HongKong Cafe at Cineleisure as some of them are hungry. I ordered a Milk Tea to share with Love. While the rest were still having dinner, I decided to leave earlier cos Love was tired and I can see that she don’t have the mood to stay longer. I sent her home and we chit chat for a while.

Sadly, I made Love stressed and made her wanting to give up again.

Oh well, it had been a tough week for me and I should continue blogging or else this blog will slowly fade away..

Fri, after work. I met love to have dinner together at China Square and I was shocked to see WanTing and Alvin there too..There was one incident that I remembered vividly was that Alvin was answering his phone call and he had not finished his food yet so WanTing scouped the remaining pasta and fed him..Tt’s sweet. After dinner, I sent Love home while Alvin and WanTing went to Suntec.

Sun,  I know that Love is coming for dinner today cause my parents will be leaving for Taiwan for holiday so after soccer i quickly changed and waited for her at the bus stop. We had Bak Ku Teh with my family. haha..On this day, i made a stupid mistake or decision which i regretted.

Everything is so diff and tough now..just hope we will be able to get back on track again and I’ll definitely wait for tt day to arrive.

Been feeling quite shagged recently..

Actually how this blog came about.. the first entry was done at my place..i still remembered i made honey lemon drink for you.. You came with donuts from donut factory.. remember…?

Anyway, I understand that you must be feeling very down now..so many things happening on after another.. please dont give up on yourself though. Like your studies too.. You have to complete them.. Do not disappoint your parents..

Well oh well, being a SIA girl was a job that i think will be fun.. being able to travel all over and for free!~ But now, i wont be able to do that for my sch will be starting very soon. So that has to be striked off my list.

Sorry, i cant help it but feel threatened for eg.. like what you mentioned. Go aussie and hide?! You’re going to leave your parents and family behind cuz of me? How can i not feel so…….

Right now the most impt thing is to take care of your health.. Just get well soon ok?